Uncried and Unspoken

Not one more tear
I wont allow my eyes to let loose
everything I want to say
Every word I want to scream in your face

I've cried enough tears
to drown myself in
I've already felt the pain
and now I have to keep it in

I wont jump out of my skin
or go crazy in my thoughts
I'll just dream of us together
then hide it tomorrow under my bleeding heart

I'm becoming frightened with my thoughts
and my words yet unspoken
to every tear left uncried
everything screaming out open


Restrained

I don't feel like me
I don't wanna be me
I'm hidden under self-denied lies
Under many of my failed attempts, to try

Just to be happy
its such a struggle
and to hold onto life
is my highest goal.

I dont think I'll make it
I'm stepping out
but I'm not going to even try
I can't cry, I'm giving up on life

But can't I ask why,
if life is real and
if God is true,
then why am I so restrained from you?